Gentle Rain

I always love this time of year when fall starts to come to an end and there is a hint of winter around the corner.  Call me crazy I know, but as the scents of the season change along with the temperatures, I start to get excited with the anticipation of the time I will spend with friends and the ones I love.  I especially love the smell of firewood popping and burning. I get a kick at everyone as they come through the door and head over to the fireplace, peel off layers of jackets, scarves, gloves, hats and gather around the warmth and glow of the fireplace.  It’s almost like a ritual, everyone catching up talking about their journey to the house as if they just climbed Mt. Everest! 

Nature itself has its own fragrance that seems to not only delight the senses, but provide a visual beauty.  Have you ever noticed how different regions have their own fragrance? Though I have been here in the Ozarks for 17 years, it’s still very new to me, and I am just delighted to explore and discover the beauty that surrounds me. I can recollect the fragrance I remember as a child growing up, of the red New Mexico soil, especially when it rained.  It was as though there was a perfume that filled the air with aromas of mesquite and red clay.  No wonder New Mexico Chile’s are the BEST! 

  

As the holiday’s approach, I can hardly wait for the pumpkin latte’s and hot chocolate with a hint of peppermint in it.  Though it is a little wet outside, my soul is quieted by the brilliance of the leaves that are still hanging on, shimmering from the rain that falls.  Just like the leaves and the ground that soaks up the rain outside, I want to soak up every minute I have been blessed with, how about you? 

To: Grama

Every year I love receiving birthday cards usually from friends reminding me how much older I am than they are...very funny stuff! You know who you are!  

But this year, I received a very special birthday card from my granddaughter, folded up very neatly.  She entrusted it with her Uncle to make sure he personally hand delivered it to me. I was cracking up when he told me the story of my granddaughter putting this note together for me, and the pressure he felt not to lose it!  

I have to share this with you...it was "the best" birthday card I have ever received, and on a birthday when I so needed my spirit lifted.

 It is amazing how God uses these little angels to do His work.

There is no doubt in my mind that having grandchildren 

doubles the joy in my heart and divides the grief in half.  

I love you Kiana, Kalea, Lilija, Lyrik and Colin 

Uncle Joe and Me

This is a photo of my Uncle Joe and his little “Reyna”.  He is married to my dad’s oldest sister, my Aunt Lupe. Their story is one of great love - His love. 

Recently I received a phone call letting me know he had been diagnosed with leukemia, and is losing his battle in spite of the evasive chemo treatments he has been receiving.  

They met while they were at Bible College and quickly fell in love and married soon after they graduated from Bible College.  They were young and full of passion for the ministry and soon had a church.  For years, Uncle Joe did what he loved to do the most; that was to preach and to share the message of hope, forgiveness and good ol’ fashioned salvation.  He was a soft spoken man, very gentle and kind, but when he got to preaching...there was no stopping him.

When my grandmother and I moved to Southern California, we lived with Uncle Joe and Aunt Lupe for a few years.  By then, they already had two sons, and quickly took me in as their own daughter.  My Aunt Lupe was the heart and soul of their home, always nurturing, a great cook, and an awesome interior decorator.  I remember the first California Christmas we shared with them, and I could not believe my eyes!  There it was…a silver tinsel tree that was lit up by a huge revolving multi-colored light!  Pretty revolutionary back then!  I had never seen anything like it.  I knew someday I would have to have one like it. They bought me new clothes. Uncle Joe also worked for a shoe store, so soon I was sporting some new saddle oxfords! 

Myself, and my two cousins, Jack and Jerry had a blast riding our bikes!  I, of course was a tomboy, so I fit right in with the boys. But my Uncle Joe, who quite frequently referred to me as his little “Reyna”, which is princess in Spanish, made me feel like I was a member of their family.  I remember sneaking out of our rooms to watch The Beatles land in the USA.  We thought we were pretty clever back then when we crawled like GI Joe to get a peak from behind the sofa where my Aunt Lupe and Uncle Joe were cuddled up watching television.  They were so on to us, but they were cool.  We were watching history.  Those were the days without a care. 

Those days left an eternal thumbprint on my life about how a family built on God’s foundation flourishes.  Their home was full of faith, hope and love.  But truly, the greatest of these is love…HIS love, for that is what endured in the end.

Tonight at sunset, I received a call that my beloved Uncle Joe went to be with his Creator in heaven.  He is remembered by all who knew and loved him…especially me.   I am sure he left a thumbprint on many lives!

Golden Mare

This past week I was very excited to participate in an art exhibit.  Everyone worked really hard and the event was a success for most part.  But I have to tell you, by the end of the day, I was so beat from standing on my feet all day, that all I could think about was getting home, taking my shoes off and putting my feet up.  As they say, 

“I was like a horse heading to the barn!”

Towards the end of the event, I was sitting on a barstool giving my weary feet a rest, when I happened to look at this particular painting and the way the light was shining on it.  It was as if God had put his glorious spotlight on it just perfectly.  I couldn’t help but be drawn to the light.  It just made me smile.  It was what I like to call a “God wink.”  He took an ordinary painting that I had created, and made it extraordinary with His own creation and ray of light.  It was as if He put the finishing touch on it to remind me of what is important. 

I don’t know about you, but often I have felt like there is no hope, life has me so weary and I feel like I am surrounded by darkness and uncertainty.  I thought of that “Golden Mare” and the way her face was turned towards the light.  The psalmist asked God to send His light and truth to guide him to the holy mountain where he would meet God.  God’s light provides the clear vision to follow; we just need to take the attitude of that Golden Mare and turn our face toward it, and head toward the barn.  Remember that in the face of discouragement, our only hope is in God.  

 Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me.

Let them lead me to your holy mountain, to the place where you live.

There I will go to the altar of God, to God - the source of all my joy!

Psalm 43: 3-4

God's Baby Book

For years I have fretted over the clouded and tainted lineage of who I am. As a child, I grew up with the shame of being born an illegitimate child growing up in the fifties along with all the inferior feelings associated with that.  Perhaps the absence of either parent might have contributed to my issues with abandonment as well.  Don’t get me wrong, I did have a nurturing and loving grandmother, several aunts and uncles all willing to be there for me.   They were my rock.

As I grew and had children of my own, I realized I wanted to record every little detail about their lives, so that they would not have a blank record of their lives.  I wanted to record every minuet detail so that they would know how much they were loved, and that they would know that their little lives mattered to me and others that loved them.  I wanted to make sure they had a foundational security and felt safe and would know exactly when they got their first hair cut, lost their first tooth, when they rolled over, when they took their first step, and what their first words were.   In the case of my son, when his first stitches were…and there have been many!

But somewhere along the way, as I matured in my faith I began to understand who I really was. What I thought was important, really wasn’t.  In the big picture, what I figured out was that I was a child of God and my life had been recorded all along, and I had a baby book.  Because of His love, I began to understand the complexities of who my birth parents were, and how special they are, and how much He loves them.  As I came to a clear understanding of that, I have been able to forgive them and I have been able to love them as God has, unconditionally.  I don’t have a baby book of sorts, but I have a heavenly father who has recorded every detail of my life.  He even loved me before I was born.  How awesome is that? 

Just recently it was a real treat to find those baby books of my kids and reflect with my son who is now has four kids of his own, and my daughter, who just had her first baby.  It is just the best to go through the pages of their little recorded books, and see pictures! I laugh because the task of motherhood must have been a handful for me, there are a lot of empty blanks in their books, but I can tell you they are filled with pages of tears, memories and love.  Those beautiful babies, that God so blessed me with, have been a part of my own healing and now I love to share their stories with my little grandkids.  And yes…I am still keeping records of my little granddaughters and their little lives…but the best part is sharing with them how wonderfully and complex they are in God’s baby book. His workmanship is so marvelous, and how well I know it! 

 

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion. 

You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book.

Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. 

Psalm 139: 15-16

Come...and Behold Him!

Though I am not sure where the idea of a Christmas tree came from, I love it when we gather around ours with comfort and joy.  The comfort is the hope that is upon us and the gift of eternal life given us because of Jesus’ death on the tree.  The beautiful twinkling lights on our tree gleam a testimony of His Glory!

The ornaments remind me of the decorative splendor with which His kindness and forgiveness adorns my life.  The star on top of the tree beams hope with a heavenward ray, reminding me that from there He shall come again. 

I do tend to go over board at Christmas “decking the halls”, but why not?  It is truly the greatest reason to celebrate, the birth of our Lord and Savior. Sometimes the burden of the season locks us in anxiety, distress, grief and depression.  But when we call upon Him, He moves right into our situation and offers His unfailing love bringing us healing and deliverance from any despair and anxiety, bringing us comfort and joy. 

The season is upon us, and in celebrating…make it His!

I GOT FROGGED!

The weather has been absolutely beautiful here in the Ozarks.  As I often do, I went outside to enjoy my morning coffee and take advantage of God’s magnificent canvas full of brilliant fall foliage and the unusual 70 degree temperatures we’ve been having in November.  It was early and I was still in my PJ’s.  Usually nobody is out that early in the morning, so I wasn’t too worried about neighbors.  My cat who is always a willing participant whenever I go out the door, eagerly trotted outside with me.

I set my left hand down on the patio seat as I went to sit down. I could feel something moving under my hand, but I ignored it as I took a sip of my coffee which was in my right hand.  The movement under my hand was persistent.  I couldn’t figure out what my cat was nudging at my hand for, so without looking, as I often do, I just gave her a little pat, but kept my hand on her so she would know I was there.

All of a sudden, I thought… “Wait! That’s my cat walking across the deck!”

I jumped so fast to my feet, spilling my coffee all over me, wondering what the heck was under my hand.  YUCK!  I yelped out loud and stepped away …it was a FROG!  It quickly moved to the corner and tried to hide by the arm of the chair hoping I didn’t see him!   He was panting so hard, his eyes were huge!  That poor little thing had such a fright, and no doubt he was more scared than I was.  I looked up and realized the neighbors were outside having their coffee out on their deck also, and I could hear them laughing at me.

Later that day, when I was sharing with my husband my eventful morning, he asked me where it happened, so I told him the details and told him to come out and see where it happened.  What?  That little frog was still there! His little legs were tucked in and he was sacked out in the same little corner of the patio chair. 

 

I couldn’t help but wonder how often we’ve been so frightened by events in our lives, hurts, and betrayals that we would rather quickly hide our face or camouflage our emotions so that they are unrecognizable.  Just like that frightened little frog, these events sometimes leave us paralyzed.   

Has life ever frightened you and become so burdensome or weary that you would just rather sleep than take another step?  Jesus understands weariness and can free you from these burdens.  The rest Jesus promises is love, healing, purpose and peace of mind with God.  He is the One who not only knows your weariness but who says, “I’ll walk the next step with you because I’ve been where you are”. 

Come to Me, all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.

~ Matthew 11:28